"Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'"
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'"
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
- Mark Twain
"Maybe it's true that life begins at 50... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out."
- Phyllis Diller
"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out."
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